We're Home!

I was able to follow the stars right to the end of our journey as if completing a dot to dot puzzle. Things moved amazingly smoothly and finally we reached our last days at Kiran's house.

The goodbyes were heartfelt, especially from her boys. They decided they'd like to keep Amani so that they wouldn't have to say goodbye. We came up with a plan...we'd video-conference every so often so that the kids could see each other regularly. In fact, the boys ran upstairs and we remained downstairs. We turned on our computers and logged onto Yahoo Messenger. We were all able to see each other and chat just as we would be able to do after our departure.

Everyone in the household played a roll in making our stay comfortable. Kiran was the angel that helped bring us Amani and that played the roll of co-Mom, especially in the days before my mom arrived. Shehzad, her husband, made sure I got my fill of Hot-And-Spicy chicken rolls and beef chili when a midnight craving hit. Kiran's mother-in-law fed me as if I was the little baby. She scolded me for not have socks on Amani or enough layers...but then would always say how lucky Amani was to have such a doting mom.

We said our goodbyes in the middle of the night at the airport. The plane ride from Karachi to Dubai was easy (2.5 hours) but the Dubai to LA flight felt like an eternity (17 hours). When we finally reached the airport, everyone was waiting: Yogesh, Dad, Mamoo, Carol Aunty, Akbar bhai, Shawn and Shawn. Poor Amani kept crying so they didn't get to see her silly smile or bright eyes, but they seemed to love her as much as we do. The night was cold and we wrapped her in a stylish coat that came to her from Jehangir mamoo's family. We got her in the car and fed her. She finally calmed down and slept.

Once in the EuroVan, we headed to Kiranbhai's place (Yog's brother) and had a delicious enchilada dinner made by Ashaben. The Christmas lights were on at their place and it finally occured to me how much time had passed. The feeling of Christmas is in the air and with it, the magic and hope that seems to fill everyone's hearts. Amani's story seems to be even more heartwarming at this time of year when people are stopping to take the time to believe in bigger things.

You may be wondering about Amani's meeting with her daddy. It was love at first sight for both of them. Yogesh takes amazing care of her and she acted as if she had known him forever at their first meeting. I will put up some touching videos on www.dropshots.com/mrsanita

Amani is finally home. We feel so blessed. She's blessed too because she's got two families (or one big happy family) here in the US and in Pakistan. We thank God for his grace on our family.

Another Blessing!

Mom's here in Karachi with me!! She came in on Tuesday, November 4 at 4:30am. We picked her up from the airport and I think she didn't notice me. Instead, she went straight for Amani! I wouldn't have it any other way though. There's an airport arrival video on www.dropshots.com/mrsanita.

I have to say that I feel like a load has been lifted. I didn't realize the anxiety I was carrying about doing things right with Amani. It's all dissolved with my mom here. I love moms. This is a pic of my sweet mom and dad.

A picture is worth 1000 words

These are some pics that were taken in a studio on Eid (October 1) 2008. My gift to the kids we live with was to get a portrait taken of them with Amani. Then I quickly asked the photographer to snap one of mom and baby (but baby was tiny then and didn't really know what was going on...she was only 3 weeks old at the time!)

Also, in case some of you don't know, I'm posting pics and videos on www.dropshots.com/mrsanita

There are a lot of them mostly because Yogesh says he can't get enough of his little girl. Feel free to browse...

Doing well. Mom's coming out here on Nov. 2!! Yay!! I'll have help and we can finally start wedding shopping for Rayhan and Tara!

Though I'm enjoying each day here, I dream of our return and introducing Amani to all of you. Loving your comments on the blog and via email...

More snapshots of Pakistan

Our Angel!




A picture of me and baby Amani in my bedroom at Kiran's house.

Some snapshots of us in Pakistan

I wasn't able to paste my Word journal entries into this blog for some reason, so I'll paste pictures into it and write details in my captions.

There's a little story I haven't told you about a sweet baby named Amna. She's the reason we were joined with Amani.

We met Mrs. Edhi on Friday, gave her my paperwork, and requested a baby girl. She was discouraging. She asked me to fill out an application, give it to her, return to the US and wait for a call from her. Kiran and I looked at each other in disbelief. We both plead my case...that I had taken a year off of work to adopt from Mrs. Edhi, that I wasn't leaving until the adoption was complete, that this was my mission and I would wait as long as necessary.

We left the center with the intention of returning on Monday to check in and reiterate our interest. But on Sunday night, we received a call from Almas, Mrs. Edhi's assistant. She said that Mrs. Edhi needed our help at Aga Khan Hospital where she was with a baby that had been thrown in the trash by her parents and then bitten by a dog. Someone had found the baby in the trash in a small town and called the Edhi Foundation. They promptly rescued her and flew her to the hospital in Karachi.

We didn't know how we could help or why we were needed, but raced over to Aga Khan Hospital anyway. We knew that Mrs. Edhi was impressed that Kiran is a nurse at Aga Khan Hospital and that maybe she needed someone to interpret results or help with the transfer of the baby from Emergency to the NICU.

When we arrived, we saw the little one with gauze over one side of her face and part of her lips. She looked well other than her injury. She was breathing well with solid vitals and looked healthy. We shortly ran into Mrs. Edhi in the waiting room.

She told us that the hospital wanted to transfer the baby to another hospital since there were no beds available in the NICU. Kiran and I went to the NICU and spoke with some nurses. They confirmed this but said there was a possibility of a bed in a day or two. I suddenly got an idea - I called Farzana and Al-Karim, adoptive parents who whome I had spoken numerous times regarding my visit to Karach. They were Americans like me who were working for the Aga Khan Hospital for a contracted term.

What do you know but Al-Karim turned out to be a head honcho at the hospital - I think he's the Cheif Management Officer or CEO or something. He told me he'd speak with the best doctor he knew and do his best to arrange for something.

We were at the hospital for several hours when finally, we got word that the little one, named Amna Edhi by Mrs. Edhi for the sake of hospital records, was being transfered to the NICU by midnight. Our hours spent with Mrs. Edhi included much discussion and warmth. She was grateful that we had been able to help her...so Kiran took a chance and asked the question that was first and foremost on our minds - "When will you make Anita a mom?" Mrs. Edhi replied, "Insha Allah (God willing) shortly."

While driving home, we both felt a sense of happiness about the coming of my very own little one. I told Kiran I thought it would happen within 2 weeks. She guessed it would happen within 2 days.

It happened the very next day!

Here's a photo of little Amna taken a week ago (there is a video on www.dropshots.com/mrsanita too for those of you that are interested).


Here's a picture of my cousin Kiran, my angel.

It's a Girl!!!

I can't tell you how long we've waited to say those words!! ("It's a girl!")

It's such a long story but I'll summarize first and then cut and paste some of my journal entries.

After Dubai, I went to India to visit with Yogesh's family. In a nutshell, all of the experiences I had in Dubai and Gujarat were amazing preparation for the days to come. Things like getting used to the food/water, getting a lot of rest, brushing up on my language skills, getting used to living in a joint family system where it's family before privacy, etc. got me ready for Pakistan.

This journey started well before Pakistan, as I've said before. My new year's resolution for 2008 was to let go and to let God lead me. I wanted to stop being so controling of environment and instead to be more of a recepient. I wanted to look for doors opening instead of opening random ones myself. I am sure that God heard my resolution and he began to provide in very obvious ways. I am astounded by how easy and fulfilling this journey has been. When I've needed something, I've asked for it in my prayers and it has been fulfilled. My faith, though strong to begin with, has dramatically increased during this journey. God has designed a beautiful path for me and all I've been doing is walking down the path picking the flowers. He's crafted this journey better than I ever could have.

That's how I got my little one on my 5th day in Pakistan!! Amazing how fast it all happened!

Her name is Amani Yasmeen Bhakta. She was left in a "jula" (swing) that Mrs. Edhi provides at her centers. Above the swing is this sign:



It translates to something like this: You've made a mistake once by bring a child into this world. Don't make another mistake by getting rid of it. Leave it in this cradle and we'll make sure it is safe.

This is the saint Mrs. Edhi. She and her husband have done amazing social work in Pakistan. Definitely worth googling when you get a chance:



Her biological mother had left her at an Edhi Center at 1pm on September 15. We got a call from the center saying, "Your doll is here. Come pick her up." We were at the center by 4:30 and she was put in my arms. I wept and wept tears of sheer happiness!!! I can't wait for all of you to meet her. It's been estimated that this process usually takes 3-8 months, but pray that I come home before the end of 2008.

Amani's daddy, grandparents (on my side) and loved ones are waiting to meet her. Her paternal grandparents have sent her their love and anxiously are waiting to meet her possibly in the U.S.

Stay tuned for more details from my journey. The next time I have a chance I'll post exerpts from my computerized journal....

Thank you for your kind and loving emails! In lieu of writing to each of you, please accept my posts as a response to your emails. I'll email you individually as time permits.

I should be able to post more regularly now that our internet is working (but who knows for how long...that's how it is over here). No complaints though! We actually have wireless internet in my cousin Kiran's home. I'll post her pic soon. She's the angel who's helped me tremendously!!!! I'm so blessed to have such an awesome family here and back home.

Dubai/Sharjah

I'm leaving Sharjah/Dubai in about 24 hours to go to India where I'll be for 10 days...So about 11 days until I'm in Karachi!

I thought I'd write a little summary about my time in Sharjah and Dubai. Sharjah is the town in which my two uncles and their families live. Most of my time was spent them, going back and forth from one house/family to the other. Some of my time was also spent sightseeing. It was clear in my mind that I wanted to spend time with family over sightseeing and the balance that was struck was perfect.

My impressions of family:
It was good to meet people that have ties to your roots. It's so easy to feel like you're an island and that your connections to others are optional or special when convenient. I had some sweet times with various family members and the sweetness comes from each of us having a special place in our hearts for each other. It's a feeling of being included - which is a concept I ponder a lot as a special educator.

My grandfather and I watched movies, did the morning paper word puzzles together (he's much faster than I), used the internet together (he wanted to send bday cards to relatives but the touch pad on his grandson's laptop wasn't sensitive to his touch - we should adjust that), and every day he made me sit in his massage chair as if it was my duty to get a full body massage without fail.

My grandmother told me stories of people in her life, mostly at the school that she and my grandfather founded. We talked in the Happy Home Nursery (the nursery that they also founded). The story of Pushpa who later became Zahra and eventually hung herself was so tragic and beared a lot of resemblance to the something that was happening with another staff person during my stay. She also taught me some tricks in the kitchen. Putting dhai in moong daal makes it not separate into lentils and water! Making a vagaar with extra oil makes it extra tasty. You can blend a watermelon with its seeds and serve it's juice for a refreshing drink.

I chatted with my cousin Almas Appa from whom I learned what it might be like to have a teenage son...

and with Danish, that teenage son, that didn't seem so difficult because I was his "friend" and not his mom. He loves to write poetry and I showed him how to start a blog to share it with others. Sweet kid.

My uncle, his wife, and two kids were amazing. They went about their normal conversations and behaviors without batting an eye. I felt like a fly on the wall as I observed and made notes about my mental case study on them. My end conclusion was that it works for this family. They nag and annoy but they also laugh and love. So it's all good. The two kids, Zohaib and Aqsa, were precious. It was as if they had known me their entire life. We fell in love immediately and played with open hearts. I used my special ed and Love and Logic tactics on them and enjoyed their responses which weren't always ideal. After holding their dirty hands to cross the street, keeping Aqsa warm in Ski Dubai with both arms around her little body (a ridiculous ski resort built in an enormous shopping mall), helping Zohaib sqeeze his feet into shoes for the upcoming school year, I felt an ounce of what it might be like to be a parent. They made me forget my hangups and just give out of love.

One weird occurance happened at the mall. One man froze in the middle of an open plaza in "the thinker" pose while another timed him with his wrist watch. People gathered around to see what was going on. Maybe the guy was a wanna-be-spray-painted-silver-dude that you see in big cities. A huge circle formed around them including people who were snapping photos with small, personal cameras and those who had large paparrazi-style cameras. A security guard couldn't get the poser and his timer to move away. Copy-cat posers began to emerge in the crowd and sub-circles were formed. Eventually, before security reinforcements were able to reach the scene, the main attraction guys moved on their own and everyone dispersed with their own vivid ideas of why the two had put on that act. My uncle claimed it was a form of yoga. I have yet to understand what that was all about, but I found myself thinking like Yogesh, not wanting to be a sheep, and walking away. It's funny how the longer you're with someone, the more ingrained and intertwined your ideas become.

Impressions of Sharjah and Dubai
All I have to say is that I haven't been anywhere like the USA. Its got finished edges almost everywhere whereas Dubai is still the east with its extremes - super polished edges and many rough edges. Love the diversity, the eastern flair, women in black burqas with high heels and meticulous makeup, men in garb that distinguishes whether they are Arab, from Oman, Saudi, etc., gorgeous mosques on every corner, women in crop tops too...