It's a Girl!!!

I can't tell you how long we've waited to say those words!! ("It's a girl!")

It's such a long story but I'll summarize first and then cut and paste some of my journal entries.

After Dubai, I went to India to visit with Yogesh's family. In a nutshell, all of the experiences I had in Dubai and Gujarat were amazing preparation for the days to come. Things like getting used to the food/water, getting a lot of rest, brushing up on my language skills, getting used to living in a joint family system where it's family before privacy, etc. got me ready for Pakistan.

This journey started well before Pakistan, as I've said before. My new year's resolution for 2008 was to let go and to let God lead me. I wanted to stop being so controling of environment and instead to be more of a recepient. I wanted to look for doors opening instead of opening random ones myself. I am sure that God heard my resolution and he began to provide in very obvious ways. I am astounded by how easy and fulfilling this journey has been. When I've needed something, I've asked for it in my prayers and it has been fulfilled. My faith, though strong to begin with, has dramatically increased during this journey. God has designed a beautiful path for me and all I've been doing is walking down the path picking the flowers. He's crafted this journey better than I ever could have.

That's how I got my little one on my 5th day in Pakistan!! Amazing how fast it all happened!

Her name is Amani Yasmeen Bhakta. She was left in a "jula" (swing) that Mrs. Edhi provides at her centers. Above the swing is this sign:



It translates to something like this: You've made a mistake once by bring a child into this world. Don't make another mistake by getting rid of it. Leave it in this cradle and we'll make sure it is safe.

This is the saint Mrs. Edhi. She and her husband have done amazing social work in Pakistan. Definitely worth googling when you get a chance:



Her biological mother had left her at an Edhi Center at 1pm on September 15. We got a call from the center saying, "Your doll is here. Come pick her up." We were at the center by 4:30 and she was put in my arms. I wept and wept tears of sheer happiness!!! I can't wait for all of you to meet her. It's been estimated that this process usually takes 3-8 months, but pray that I come home before the end of 2008.

Amani's daddy, grandparents (on my side) and loved ones are waiting to meet her. Her paternal grandparents have sent her their love and anxiously are waiting to meet her possibly in the U.S.

Stay tuned for more details from my journey. The next time I have a chance I'll post exerpts from my computerized journal....

Thank you for your kind and loving emails! In lieu of writing to each of you, please accept my posts as a response to your emails. I'll email you individually as time permits.

I should be able to post more regularly now that our internet is working (but who knows for how long...that's how it is over here). No complaints though! We actually have wireless internet in my cousin Kiran's home. I'll post her pic soon. She's the angel who's helped me tremendously!!!! I'm so blessed to have such an awesome family here and back home.

Dubai/Sharjah

I'm leaving Sharjah/Dubai in about 24 hours to go to India where I'll be for 10 days...So about 11 days until I'm in Karachi!

I thought I'd write a little summary about my time in Sharjah and Dubai. Sharjah is the town in which my two uncles and their families live. Most of my time was spent them, going back and forth from one house/family to the other. Some of my time was also spent sightseeing. It was clear in my mind that I wanted to spend time with family over sightseeing and the balance that was struck was perfect.

My impressions of family:
It was good to meet people that have ties to your roots. It's so easy to feel like you're an island and that your connections to others are optional or special when convenient. I had some sweet times with various family members and the sweetness comes from each of us having a special place in our hearts for each other. It's a feeling of being included - which is a concept I ponder a lot as a special educator.

My grandfather and I watched movies, did the morning paper word puzzles together (he's much faster than I), used the internet together (he wanted to send bday cards to relatives but the touch pad on his grandson's laptop wasn't sensitive to his touch - we should adjust that), and every day he made me sit in his massage chair as if it was my duty to get a full body massage without fail.

My grandmother told me stories of people in her life, mostly at the school that she and my grandfather founded. We talked in the Happy Home Nursery (the nursery that they also founded). The story of Pushpa who later became Zahra and eventually hung herself was so tragic and beared a lot of resemblance to the something that was happening with another staff person during my stay. She also taught me some tricks in the kitchen. Putting dhai in moong daal makes it not separate into lentils and water! Making a vagaar with extra oil makes it extra tasty. You can blend a watermelon with its seeds and serve it's juice for a refreshing drink.

I chatted with my cousin Almas Appa from whom I learned what it might be like to have a teenage son...

and with Danish, that teenage son, that didn't seem so difficult because I was his "friend" and not his mom. He loves to write poetry and I showed him how to start a blog to share it with others. Sweet kid.

My uncle, his wife, and two kids were amazing. They went about their normal conversations and behaviors without batting an eye. I felt like a fly on the wall as I observed and made notes about my mental case study on them. My end conclusion was that it works for this family. They nag and annoy but they also laugh and love. So it's all good. The two kids, Zohaib and Aqsa, were precious. It was as if they had known me their entire life. We fell in love immediately and played with open hearts. I used my special ed and Love and Logic tactics on them and enjoyed their responses which weren't always ideal. After holding their dirty hands to cross the street, keeping Aqsa warm in Ski Dubai with both arms around her little body (a ridiculous ski resort built in an enormous shopping mall), helping Zohaib sqeeze his feet into shoes for the upcoming school year, I felt an ounce of what it might be like to be a parent. They made me forget my hangups and just give out of love.

One weird occurance happened at the mall. One man froze in the middle of an open plaza in "the thinker" pose while another timed him with his wrist watch. People gathered around to see what was going on. Maybe the guy was a wanna-be-spray-painted-silver-dude that you see in big cities. A huge circle formed around them including people who were snapping photos with small, personal cameras and those who had large paparrazi-style cameras. A security guard couldn't get the poser and his timer to move away. Copy-cat posers began to emerge in the crowd and sub-circles were formed. Eventually, before security reinforcements were able to reach the scene, the main attraction guys moved on their own and everyone dispersed with their own vivid ideas of why the two had put on that act. My uncle claimed it was a form of yoga. I have yet to understand what that was all about, but I found myself thinking like Yogesh, not wanting to be a sheep, and walking away. It's funny how the longer you're with someone, the more ingrained and intertwined your ideas become.

Impressions of Sharjah and Dubai
All I have to say is that I haven't been anywhere like the USA. Its got finished edges almost everywhere whereas Dubai is still the east with its extremes - super polished edges and many rough edges. Love the diversity, the eastern flair, women in black burqas with high heels and meticulous makeup, men in garb that distinguishes whether they are Arab, from Oman, Saudi, etc., gorgeous mosques on every corner, women in crop tops too...

"Dor"

I just saw an amazing Hindi film called "Dor" which means "rope". The main character, Zeenat, was inspiring. The characteristics she possesses, her clear-headedness, her decisiveness, her strength, are perfectly packaged in her portrayal of her role...I was very INSPIRED. She values her time here in this world and won't let societal rules stand in her way of living life the way she beleives it should be led, every single day. Amazing movie.

Zeenat is the girl on the far right.

Writing from Dubai

I am safely in Dubai. The flights weren't bad at all. I flew from SD to Houston in 4 hours. Waited there for several hours and then got on an Emiraes flight to Dubai. I'm here with relatives who are loving and caring. I've gotten out and seen some sights, but my real goal was to spend family time with them, especially with Hasan Uncle, my paternal grandfather's brother.

It's hot hot hot. We stay at home in the AC during the day and hit the city at night. Tonight I saw a Bollywood flick:

It was okay. Entertaining but not highly recommended. BUT I have to say, I love Bollywood movies!!

We hit some sights, but the best two were the Gold Market called "Gold Souk":

and walked around the man-made lakes:

I didn't take these pics by the way :)

No jet lag. All is good. I have internet access until Aug 29.

9 Days To Go!

My dear friend Deborah made me a poster for the shower at school and I loved the quotes she chose:

Two Weeks To Go!

It's now August and I've had a full and fun summer which has revolved around transition. We've finished the adoption paperwork, planned a 10 year anniversary celebration for ourselves, promoted henna/spa parties, and almost finished packing up our apartment and bags for my trip.

I am so grateful that I was urged to travel to Pakistan in 1995 by my father. That trip has prepared me for this one. Most importantly, my last trip has taught me about the culture of Pakistanis - how life moves at a slower pace, efficiency isn't a priority, connections mean everything. Also, it gave me confidence. If I was able to survive and enjoy my past adventure, I'll surely be able to handle this one. Again, past events have prepared me for the future.

My rough itinerary:
Aug 22 - leave San Diego for Dubai where I will visit two uncles and their families
Aug 29 - head to India to see my in-laws
Sept 10 - arrive in Karachi and stay for as long as necessary!

I'll be staying with my sweet cousin, Kiran and her extended family.

Only 11 more days until my departure!

Some henna pics of my summer:
Marjolein, a tourist from the Netherlands, adding henna to her summer visit.
After henna paste was removed - photo sent from Netherlands a few days later.

Two Months To Go!

Stars Aligning

When did the stars begin to align to awaken the idea of adopting a child from Pakistan?

I think the present is so intricately woven with our past and that the stars began to align so long ago. The actions of my ancestors have affected our decision. For example, they weren't even in Pakistan to begin with, but in India. Their choice to migrate to Pakistan affects my decisions today. The way my parents were raised affects how they raised me - with open mindedness and positivity. Evan the decision of my aunt and uncle to adopt was influenced by their upbringing and pasts. The shaping of the legal system by cases involving countless families and their journeys toward adoption affects our decision.

I events are a web, or a constellation, perhaps, of situations that are all connected. One thing leads to another - or many things lead to many other things. Every action we take is linked to our past and will affect eternity.

So what makes these stars illuminate so that we can count them, be aware of them, thank them, follow their guidance? Blessings - from God. From family. From friends.

The month of June has been about tying up things on one end and opening up things on another. I had a bittesweet goodbye at work. The teachers, parents, and students have become an extended family. Our relationships have grown over the years. After hearing my news, they showered me with heartfelt wishes and also threw a shower for me with gifts for the Pakistani babies at the orphanage.

My mindset has gone from focus on the here and now - being a teacher who manages evening meals, my daily commute, etc. - to one of looking ahead. The reality of adoption is gradually setting in. Every gift, card, poster, well-wish from a friend or family has led me a step closer to the mindset of becoming a parent. Yogesh and I were opening packages of "onesies" today and filling them into a suitcase for the babies in the orphanage. This brought that sort of realization that things are getting closer at a surprisingly fast rate.

These are my lovely teammates and pictures of the shower:

These are a few pics from my last days at school: